Sunday, September 09, 2007
7 September 2007
Its happening again! Im crying over Pradeep again. Melissa told me that they are not going on. Michelle told me the same cause she wanted to be friends. But Jeeviyan and Keeran said they are just that they want to keep it low profile. Life just sucks. If Jeeviyan knows about this, then wouldn’t the rest of the guys know this too? So im left in the dark again. Everyone knew the one thing I should know and I didn’t till now? FUCK! I cant stop crying. Crying and crying and crying. Its been like an hour and a half since I started crying. I want to stop. But I just cant! I thought I was over you..but now I find myself questioning myself again. Am I really? I hate the world! I hate everyone! I have never felt sooo depressed before. Have I been too nice that people are taking advantage of me? Maybe its time to change. The Christine you people know is slowly dying. The new Christine will reborn soon. And shes not gonna be nice anymore. Shes gonna be freaking mean! So watch it!
I just cant stop eating and shopping and bathing. I CANT STOP! I guess it’s a way to show how depressed and stressed up I am. SIGHS…..
Just now, I suddenly felt so stressed up and upset cause my sister was so mean to me that I went to the chapel to pray. I was the only one there. Thank god! I prayed and I felt better. I spent about 20 minutes in there. And I walked out of church feeling normal again. But now….im in another emotional breakdown. I need help. SERIOSULY! Ive even got thoughts on suicidal…sighs…
3:39 PM; unforgotten.Y
