Finally! My computer has been repaired. I waited for like a whole week. Shannon and Edward helped me carry my computer from chruch all the way to the shop near Northpoint. THANKS GUYS!

School has been like an OMG thing these past few days. Stress! Mr Teo has been banging on us to meet the requirements of the ISG book. Ive only got 5 freaking ISG's as of now. I need like 14 more??? Kill me somebody!

STRESS.STRESS.STRESS. Term test is coming. Die liao! I havent even started to study for it. Any its like 9 months left to O levels? Ahhhh! After blogging today, im gonna start studying. I just had to get things off my mind first.

I proposed to him. Kk nmot proposed but more like confessed my love to him. But we are still friends cause he is attached. Good thing is..he is still talking to me. But i feel sad in a way. I just want him to know how much i really love him. I want him to understand that i am serious about him. I think he hasnt got it yet. How do i make him understand. Ive been loving him for 3 years and ive not stopped loving him.

Sigh..the teachers found out about me liking someone and asked me about this in front of my mum. At that point of time i looked down and thought. Am i gonna die? Oh shit! Then i looked up and said.."Ya i do have a crush on someone. I mean whats wrong with having a crush? Its just a crush. Its normal what. Every teenager has their own crush. Why not me? Its not like i went to that guy and said i wanna be your girlfriend what?" Haha..they all went like "ya true true".

I didnt go to school today. Why? Cause im having a fever. Sigh...missed my Chemistry test. Advantage here is...i get to have an extra day to study for it. Disadvantage is..i need to stay back after school for it. Sigh...

Anyways...today is the 31 of January. It is a special day today. Why? Cause its Gregory and Matthew Benedict's birthday! Happy 16 birthday guys!

Im supposed to meet Brenda for breakfast tomorrow. And this Saturday, we(Cassandra, Brenda, Roseria, Edward, Clarissa and i) are celebrating Shannon's birthday at Teacher Pam's house. So fun! I cant wait.

My dad is bringing me to get my confirmation dress. My confirmation is on the 11 of February this year. Oh my gosh! Im going up to read the responsorial psalms!!! Ahhh! Scared but Teacher Catherine said i make a good lector. Wish me luck guys!

Ok ive blogged enough. Im gonna start studying. See ya!

2:56 PM; unforgotten.Y

Woah! Its been like 6 days to a week since i actually blogged. I missed my blog very very much! Sighs...anyways, my dad is getting better. His blood level rose up to 77 and he got discharged from CDC. So its a good thing. =)

Anyways, here are the updates : I broke with Saravanan on Monday. Ramyaa helped me send the message to him. On Monday i tried to propose to HIM but i couldnt. Then today during recess i tried to do it again but i didnt couldnt. Anyways, he told me to tell it to him first thing in the morning. Yup. Other than that, school is soo stressful!!!

On Saturday, 20th January 2007, Jacinta, Thiru and i went to Temasek Poly open house. Then we hung out in Tampanies mall. I reached home around 6.30pm.

Thats all lah..haha! See ya...

6:16 PM; unforgotten.Y

Thanks guys..thanks for everything. For being there for me when im most in need. Even they still care?!?! Surprising but still..thanks...

10:34 PM; unforgotten.Y

Everyone of us has our own problems...no matter what..theres no telling which is the worst. Cause to everyone of us...our own problem is the worst. Its only us that will really know what we are going through and feel the real pain of it. No one else will understand it no matter how much we try to explain. Each and everyone has our own life and sees things differently. No one stays forever. No one is gonna be there for you forever. Cause in the end..its you and you only. People come and go. We cant help it. We cant control that either.

Basically to me, life sucks! Life sucks completely! To others i dont know. We are complete individuals living a life of our own with a future of ours to live. We dont know what is gonna be there in the future. Each and everyone of us have our lives planned out by god already. And everything happens for a reason. Its wheather we want to see it or not. I cant type anymore...

All i know is that i wanna grow up to be a doctor in the future. Im gonna work HARD to do it. Why? Because...i love helping people. All i want is to see a smile on their faces at the end of the day. I always put others before myself. Ive always been like that. And also...ever since what happened to my dad, i wanna help people and save their lives. I wanna make sure that people dont need to go through such pain anymore.

10:11 PM; unforgotten.Y

My dad went to the hospital on Monday. Doctor told him that hes got dengue. His blood level is supposed to be 150. When he got admitted it was 105. Then it dropped to 29 and then to 19 and now its 12. If it becomes 0, he wont live. FUCK! I cant even visit him cause im sick. If i do, he will either get worse or i will get dengue too. I love him sooo much! Ive not seen him since Thursday! I dont know what to do. Im panicking...Why must it always be me? Why?!?!?!?

There is always something bad happening in my life. First it was my friends...then Randy..then Council and my studies...and now this. Jesus where are you? I mean seriously!!! Please dont let anything happen to my dad. He means the world to me. I cant do without him. I need him! I wanna see him so badly...i wanna hug him and kiss him and hold him tight and tell him that i need him. That i love him very much! That he needs to stay strong..that he cant go! Cause im trying my very best to stay strong! I want him to get better!!!

If you are really there..PLEASE make a miracle happen! Please..take me if its possible. Just let him live! He cant go. Hes got Sherman! Hes got my sister. Hes got Vicky. Hes got me! We all love him and need him very much! I love him and need him very much! He was always there for me..so why cant i be there for him now. I need to see him! Im feeling soo much pain! I dont know what to do. I want it all to disappear..i wish nothing of this sort ever happened. Im scared to death! Im breaking down...falling apart..i need support.

I wish i could be there with him. I want to be there with him. I miss him sooo much! I cant take it anymore. I really cant. Ive been crying since 8.30pm. 1 and a half hours and ive not stop. I dont know what to do. God please help me! Please!!! Why do you always take all my loved ones away from me? I know that the next person is gonna be Jacinta. Cause she is gonna migrate. Either she or HIM when i tell him the truth. WHY?

I hate my life. LIFE SUCKS!!!!

9:40 PM; unforgotten.Y

Yesterday...we fought. I dont give a damn la. I love HIM! And HIM only!

Vicky messaged me today while i was in class. My dad got dengue fever! He didnt need to stay at the hospital today but he needs to go back tomorrow to check his blood. Im so worried for him. His health isnt good and he has got diabeties too. SIGH! Im praying hard that nothing happens. I love him ALOT!

8:14 PM; unforgotten.Y

Im back!

On Wednesday, Saravanan asked me to be his girlfriend. He gave me time to think.

On Thursday right..I went to school and was DAMN sleepy. I also felt sick but i wasnt REALLY. So yeps. I told Mr Teo that i felt sick and wanted to go home and i went home during recess. I told Saravanan yes.

On Friday, i met Saravanan in the morning. Then i went to school. It was raining damn heavily! I think i got drenched in the rain for about six times! After school, i came home and slept. I didnt go for my CCA. I was having bad headache. I slept from 5-7.30pm. Woke up and went to see the doctor. Then i met Saravanan again. I reached home around 10.10pm.

On Saturday, i woke up in themorning for Maths tuition. Then i went back to bed. I was damn tired. Jacinta called five minutes after i knock out. Then i slept again and Jess called around 1.25pm. I woke up and rushed to meet her. Then we went to Northpoint to have lunch and went to Nee Soon CC to study till 7.30pm. Letch came to meet us around 7pm. So obviously we talked till 7.30pm. Hmmm then we sent Jess home. Letch and i then stayed under a block for like and hour and a half until 9.30pm. Talked and talked and talked. Then...he sent me home. And yup thats just about it.

12:35 AM; unforgotten.Y

Baby..you are my hearts desire. You are all that i ever want and could ever ask for. There is nothing in this world that could beat my love for you. You are all that matters to me. You opened up my heart and took me into the light. You showed me what true love really is. You showed me what life really is about. You cared for me and was always there for me whenever i needed you. You are my one and only.. and baby..i never want to loose you. I just wish i could tell you...that ive been loving you ever since the day i saw you. It is love at first sight. I have never in my life believed in this but now...i do. I always cared for you but never had the guts to show it. I never had the courage to tell you i love you. Baby its true. I sincerely do love you. When you were hurt, i cried feeling the pain in you. When you were sick, i prayed for you. Whenever you were upset, i would try my very best to cheer you up. And even if i dont succeed, i would pray hard that god would show you the way and guide you through every step you take. You are the best thing that happened to me. You are the only thing that could brighten my day. You are the reason behind my smile. You are the reason why i wake up every morning and choose to go to school. You are the reason why i take that extra mile just to see your preety face. You are all that i want and all that i need. And baby...although you are attached, i would pray hard that one day..just one day..god gives me that chance again. That chance to prove to you how much love ive got for you. That prove to show you that you are my life. That you are the reason why i was brought into this world. To meet you. To prove to you that i would go to any extend just to show you..how sincere my love is for you. Baby, words can tell you how much you mean to me. Im missing you soo much. Im missing you every minute of the day. My heart aches for you. I wonder for how long more i can keep it all inside. You are all that i ever want and ever need. I feel hurt. I feel hurt that i cant let this out. That i cant tell you anything for i fear that our current friendship may change. And i dont want that to happen. Cause all i need is you. I can keep going on and on but it will never match my love for you. Believe me as i say this. You are my true love. My one and only. I want a life with you. I want you. No matter what, my heart belongs to you and you only. My love for you will never fade away. I promise you that. 3 years of loving you and still counting...

12:34 AM; unforgotten.Y

Heys all! Wah im like beginning to feel to all pour onto me. Really! I didnt realise it till Shmitha told me the fact that yes! Maybe i am stressed. Oh my son! Lord, save this poor lost and ever so confused soul! Sighs heavily!

Alright so yes i am stressed up already. Yesterday, i was using the computer after i came back from school and the next thing i knew was that i woke up at 11pm and was sleeping on my bed. I didnt even know how i got onto the bed. And i dreamt that i packed my bag but when i opened my bag today in school, i didnt! How weird!

Ahhh i need a break really..im feeling too much stress and its also thanks to my mum. Will get back to her another day. Right now, i just wanna finish up my homework and study for my upcoming tests. See ya!

10:21 PM; unforgotten.Y

Why have i been feeling soo down lately? I dont knoowww. I really wanna drop out for my own reasons but i know very well that it is a bad idea. Also if i dont, its good in a way cause ive already made plans with someone about our future and all. But then again, who says it will happen? I mean she gonna migrate or rather her whole family wants to migrate. What if i get left behind as usual? Sigh..

I was late to meet Cass today. Was supposed to meet her at 9.30am but i woke up at 9.30am!!! So i rushed and like yeah i reached church at 9.50am. I did bathe okay! Hmm went for mass, then cathegism class then i went home and got ready for tuition. Tina was at home. After my POA tuition, i went down to buy food and then i talked to my sister for like half an hour and then Jacinta called so we talked for an hour. Then i got carried away watching this tamil show DHOOL and then yeah i guess i slacked. Its like 10.20pm and i need to go finish my homework.

Aights. See ya!

10:05 PM; unforgotten.Y

10:39 PM; unforgotten.Y

Woah.. i had to wake up at like 8am today cause i had to go back to school just to get my blazaar from the council room. I left it in there and i needed it today. I had to go to Nee Soon East Community Club. My school councilors had to do the ushering duty for the Edusave Awards 2006. So yeps...i went to school and got my blazaar. When i reached Yishun, i met my mum in Northpoint and we had a drink. Then she bought lunch for my sister and i.

Then i went home and went back down again to meet Jacinta. Passed her my camera, bought drinks for my sister and i and we sat at this workout area for around 10 minutes. Talked and went back home. I had my lunch and left my house around 2.15pm. Reached the place at like 2.50pm. And i was the second one. The whole thing started at 5pm and ended at 6pm. Yup. Sigh....tired la. Went to Northpoint to get three late Christmas presents and went home.

Reached home, no dinner so i went down again. Came home, ate my dinner and here i am. Too tired to elaborate. Yup im gonna turn in early today. Nights!

10:05 PM; unforgotten.Y

I didnt go to school today. Why? Cause i was having really bad stomach cramps. And the so called suay thing is. I rarely get it.

Woke up at 10pm. Took a shower, ate my breakfast and went back to bed until 2pm. When i woke up again, my eyes were swollen. Talk about the effects of having too much sleep. Haha. Then i ate my lunch, slacked around and called Jacinta.We talked for about an hour. Went to the bookshop to get stuff and waited for my maths tuition to start. Then.....i went down again. To buy dinner. Came home, ate my dinner, slacked around and here i am. Im gonna do some homework first then ill go to bed.

Anyways, nights!

11:50 PM; unforgotten.Y

Today is Vicky's( my step mum ) birthday. She is 33 years old. So HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Ok. Today i was told that im not needed in council for the secondary one orientation. Like what the hell?!?

So i went to class and, an EMBARASSING thing happened to me but like what the hell! I rather not post it in here. Yeah then i met Iffa and Shmitha during recess. While we were sitting and eating, Nikita came up to us and asked me how come im not with the councilors and i told her that they said im not needed there today. Then she said all the ex co's are there .... . And i said im not ex co anymore. Then she said i am and i gave her a confused look. And she told me think about it and went somewhere. SIGH!

I would give anything to get back my post. But HOW? What if i work really hard just to get back my post and in the end, the teachers say its impossible. Walau! Im afraid of that i guess.. This sucks la really. Im like loosing that wonderful, ever so committed and responsible side of me. I can tell that im slacking alot in terms of attitude and like i dont want that to happen but i dont feel like i can control myself in any way. I know! Ive like talked about this for like over i dont know how many times but im DEPRESSED over this.

This is ONE of the MAIN reasons why you dont see that smile across my face much nowadays. Even if you do see it, its FAKE! Never did i smile for real. I miss everything. Only i know how much sadness lies within me. I know, i always portray the happy side of me. But who ever said i am a happy person? I just dont show the sad side of me. (sigh)

Well tomorrow is my school's CCA bazaar. I dont know if im going for council or rather i dont know if council needs me tomorrow. Sounds WRONG! Even the teachers saw me and were like what are you doing there? I might not go to school tomorrow la. I see how. GIRL PROBLEM! Shit.

By the way, HE asked me to sit with him for lunch today but i was already sitting with Iffa and Shmitha. Sigh - sadness. But then...he was sitting with them. The them who i broke friendship with. So too bad. Even if i can sit with him..i wont cause they are there. =(

10:42 PM; unforgotten.Y

Heys all!

Ok...so today was the first day of school and i survived with only three hours of sleep the night before. Reason being, i was doing my last minute homework until 2am in the morning. Then i went to bed and woke up at 5am. I usually do wake up at 5 am anyways. So yeps. Add them up and its three hours of sleep. Hmm i had to be in school by 6.35am today cause of the secondary one orientation duty.

This time, sadly i aint a class buddy. When i went to school, i was nothing. But Ethel told me i can stay and help out and that is what i did. Hmm i became a station master and then i followed class 1/8 out for their amazing race.

Yeah well all in all, the day sucked for me cause i heard something at the very end and obviously became sad la. Yup. I came home, and slept it all away. Aiya its DEPRESSING la! Im trying to move on but everytime it happens, i get pulled down again. Nothing is going right so far.

This year, i wish that the bitches would leave me alone. I wish that things would go right. And even though there will be ups and downs, i wish that i would be strong enough to go through the downs.

Tomorrow is probably gonna be a sucky day for me. Oh yeah. Its Vicky(my step mother's) birthday tomorrow. And i just got shit from my dad when i told him i cant meet him early cause of the secondary one orientation. So i HAVE to leave early to satisfy my dad and not me! SIGH.

Kays. That is about it. Just that i feel very lost in council and i dont trust lotsa people anymore. Its a sad world. My life sucks!

6:47 PM; unforgotten.Y

Alright...so its 11.09am in the morning and im feeling a little like shit! Why? BECAUSEEEEEE school is reopening tomorrow! And...i ABSOLUTELY do not want to go back! It sucks la. School! UGH!

Hmm anyways...im doing my 'O' levels this year. AHHH! Im like sooo worried already ok! Sighs.. Nevermind i told myself this...im gonna STUDY like SHIT for a WHOLE FREAKING YEAR! Then ill do soo well for my 'O' levels and get to a good somewhere and yes! Ill just keep thinking of my friends from the other GOOD schools and yeps. They are abit like my motivation. =)

11:05 AM; unforgotten.Y

I am soooooooo tired! I woke up at like 11.00am. And i went like OH MY GOSH! I had to meet Jess at 12.00pm at the bus stop near my house. We were on our way to the Yishun MRT Station to meet Nicole and her friends. We were invited to her house for her new year's party. Yeps. So i rushed. Like obviously! It is so typical.

So i met her. And we went to the MRT Station and met everyone and went to her house. Hmm ate GOOD food!!! Played games and Cass and Jacinta got bored so we left the place at 3.30pm. Hmm then we walked to Chong Pang and sat at Mac for a while. Then we walked to Northpoint. Cass bought veet for herself and then we sat at Burger King. Sat there for a while. I saw Nikita, Zhuang Yi and Apoorva.

Umm yeah and then we walked to church. Waited upstairs for a while and realised that they were'nt gonna open the door on the third floor so we went back down to the second floor and sat there till mass started. By the way, the we is me, Jacinta, Cassandra and Matthew Benedict. Matthew Lim came later on. After mass, we wished everyone and hugged everyone and went straight home. And thus...i feel tired cause i had to put with with a friends freaking shitty nonsense and i am pissed on the first day of 2007 just by thinking about the BLOODY incidences!

By the way i saw my 2006 form teacher. He is my church's communion master. Yeps thats it la. I gott a go finish my homework first! See ya!

8:53 PM; unforgotten.Y

Hellooooo peeps! Ive like not updated my blog for quite some time so heres what you been missing out on...

27 of December 2006
I invited Jin Rong, Joe, Zhen Rong, Jacinta and Nicole to my house for Christmas. Actually got ALOT more people but they weren't free. And also this party was planned like in the night of 26th December. Haha yeps. Its DAMN last minute la. Hmm ok. My friends spent like the whole day in my house. My mum cooked ALOT!

28th of December 2006
I stayed home laying eggs. Haha no seriously. I mean i just like slacked at home. If im not wrong i woke up at like 12pm? And yeah i did im not sure what throughout the day and had POA tuition at like 6pm in the night. Then i went down around 7.30pm and bought stationery.

29 of December 2006
I had maths tuition from 10.30am to 12.30pm. And i followed my sis to the SDCL Driving Centre in Ang Mo Kio. She went to register herself for driving lessons. Umm after that, we went to watch Night at the museum at the Northpoint Golden Village.

30 of December 2006
I went out with Jacinta. I followed her to Cambridge so that she can buy her school books. Then we walked around to find for her a school bag but we had no luck. After which, we had our lunch at the food court in Northpoint and went to this block near ours. We sat there and talked and talked for like an hour and then we went home. I reached home around 5.15pm.

31 of December 2006/ New Year's Eve
I went to church in the morning for mass with Cassandra, Erica, Shannon, Matthew Benedict and Edward Bengei. Errm yeah. Cassandra and Shannon both gave me belated Christmas presents. I woke up like a little late but made it on time and thus, i forgot to bring their presents. Hmm Cass gave me a handphone key chain like thingy. Its a key on this heart. And Shannon gave me this photoframe. Haha you are supposed to put the picture on Santa Claus's stomach. Hmm im gonna put a picture of Shannon and i in it. Then i went home and slept for three hours until it was 5pm. I slept at 4am the previous day. Thats why. Then i woke up, got dressed and went to Serangoon Ave 2 with my sister. Vicky's sister, Uma, was holding a New Year BBQ Party. So we went and left the place at 10pm and reached home exactly at 11.59pm. Haha. Talk about on the dot! Lol! Yeps...

And it is currently 2.18am into the year 2007! It is the first day of this year and im feeling awkward. I DONT KNOW WHY! Anyways...yeps. School is like gonna start in two or shall i say a days time and im not done with my homework! Nothing for me to be proud about. And SIGH! I dont know why!

Hmmm kk..im gonna chat with Melvin Prakash! See ya!

2:04 AM; unforgotten.Y

talk to me.

Adilah
Angela
Ansar
April
Avinash
Becky
Brenda
Cassandra
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Chon Mon
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Debbie
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Erika
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Jin Rong(horny partner)
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Lolita AKA Siti
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Pat
Prince Chindian
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Sec1 Council Blog
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Suhaidah
Suriani
Priya
Wei Sien
Wolfgang Pereira
Yi Ling
Yin Qing
You Pei
You Wei
Yvonne Oh
Zhuang Yi
Zurain

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January 2008

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