Today is my school's Graduation Day. I had to do council duty - registration. Haha a slackers duty la. Marissa and i sat together and talked to the foyer ushers who were around. Then later she left and Ernest and Vicknesh joined me. We sat and talked and talked. Then later Vicknesh and I went to talk more...haha kind of a secret la. Mmmm ya then Becky, Marissa, Yvonne, Jessie, Siti, Hui Meng, Joanna and Cheryl left for home. Only Cheryl, Yvonne, Becky, Marissa and i took 859. The rest either went to eat or took 962. When we reached Northpoint, Marissa accompanied me to Popular but we couldnt get in cause they were closing. Thus i have to change the timing from 9.30am - 12pm tomorrow. I need to go back to school to make the Deepa-Raya Fiesta Banner, Mr Paul Low's talk and Drama SFY training. I also need to move the plants which were used as decorations on stage and all to the first floor. I will only ve able to leave school at 6pm. NOO! Haiya...
I purposely did not want to mix around with the graduating students la. I will cry..Very touching...im quite close to a number of them. Today morning, Hui Meng, Ken, Mizrahi, Zheng Liang, Fasihah, Samantha, Zurain and a few other sec 1's helped me pin up the banner for Graduation Day including the cloth. THANK YOU! We did it during the morning assembly too. Cause we didnt want to like leave it when it is half way done la. Then after school i had to go look for Mr Goh Kern Hai cause he wanted to see me. Then he asked about the balloons that was supposed to be at the side of the walls. And..i went like i dont think i can get it done cause i dont have the pump to blow the ballons that are not clean for our mouths to come in contact so that we can manually blow them all. And he suggested that we use the Hari Raya decorations. Wah! Haha kinda crazy la. Then i was going down the stairs when i saw one of the school staff who is my close friend, Uncle Jeya. I asked him if he had a pump and he said no but he helped me ask the D&T uncle for help. The D&T uncle agreed and let us use that pump like thing. It was also his birthday. So i thanked him and wished him la. Then ya i managed to get the balloons up in the end. Mr Goh Kern Hai was happy la. Good good!
Wah i just ate my dinner at 10.40pm leh. Cant sleep until 1.40am cause it needs to be digested. Hmm Lan Yun gave me some advice today. She talked to me and said that retaining would be better. But i die die want to get advanced or promoted. I think ill ask to speak to Mdm Sauda alone la. Ill beg her and ill get on my knees and do so if i have to. I think i roughly know what to tell her already. And im very determined to work VERY hard this time. Tomorrow im gonna plan my timetable. When the exams were over, i told myself..just because the exams are over, it doesnt mean that i have to stop studying. Now im telling myself. Although i might not stand a chance, at least im trying and its not too late. YET.
Today ah...I was supposed to pair with Ferroz for the class dance for next Wednesday's talent quest. Then i wanted to change to partner Hui Meng. This is for Ferroz la. I didnt want to change because i didnt want to pair with you. Its nothing like that. In fact i really dont mind. You are like a nice friend to me la. Its just that i dont want to go to school next Wednesday and since Hui Meng also wants to do the same, its like a pair missing and it wouldnt create any trouble or make a difference. That is one. Two, I am already not very close with my classmates. I only have a few close friends from class and thats a sad thing la. But ya..so obviously i wouldnt have any interest of wanting to take part in any activities that involves out class la. Three, I have no mood after seeing my results. How to think of dancing when i produced such bad results. Im more like depressed la. Four, I know that I dont stand a chance of moving up to sec4e3 next year thus, I dont want to tale part in this la. Its like redundant la. I am also not going for the chalet. It wouldnt make a difference really.
Cant even think of celebrating Deepavali or Christmas or going visiting to my friends houses anymore. In fact i dont want to la. Hui Meng suggested that we actually celebrate Christmas with the secondary three councilors after i told her that i doubt i can celebrate Christmas this year. I think its a great idea la. At least its better than celebrating it with my family la. I would feel better and happier also.
Wanna know what happened yesterday? My dad asked if i got my results back and i said ya when i wanted to say no. Then i only told him that i passed maths and failed art. Like that only he got pissed with me. Wah he immediately went like art, 1 down. Tamil confirm down- 2. Chemistry i doubt so - 3. Social studies i dont think so - 4. How many subjects you taking. The point is, its like he is looking down on me lor. Before i could tell him that i failed the other subjects, he already assumed that i did. Fucker la he! Im very pissed with him. My mum on the other hand, sms'd me yesterday evening and was like nevermind if you didnt do well for your exam. Its not end of the world. You can still try again. We all still love you. And to think i was thinking of committing suicide. Its like i suddenly feel so lonely. Dont know why also...
*VERY
SAD*
