Saturday, September 30, 2006
Yesterday was my tamil exam..
Wah kenna sai ah can die!
I misunderstood the question for my letter writting..
Its supposed to be an accident that happened to me in my life but i wrote about me cheating in an exam..
Then my paper two, wah i couldnt understand what the sentences were about or the helping words
Haiya...NO!
Im not giving up hope...
At least not till im done with the 'O's..
Mr Tan Teck Hock believed in us and im sure he still does...
'LIVESTRONG' he said.
Im not gonna let him down..Im not gonna let anyone down..especially myself. I strongly believe that i can and i will pass my tamil 'O's!
Next paper is on Monday - Social Studies
Wah still ALOT of studying to do..
Gonna try my very best to get him out of my mind till the exams are over..
Then i shall decide if i want to let him know about my feelings and all although i know its pointless...
Missing him..these days, he is soo busy with his own thing...we dont talk as much as we used to anymore..*sad*
3:34 PM; unforgotten.Y
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Today is the start of my End Of The Year Exams.
Did my English just now..
Wahh i dont know what to say..
Its either its me or the paper was tough..
Scared ah!
Im afraid i cant pass my English.
Im afraid that my compo and letter writting got alot of mistakes which usually happens when im freaking nervous which i was just now, and im afriad that i just didnt answer the comprehension right.
Sometimes i just wish i stayed in Normal Acade instead.
I still remember when i was in secondary one...it was the last day of school. I went to Mrs Samantha Ong and asked her to sign my year book. And she told me this exactly, '' Sometimes its better to stay in Normal Acade and top the whole cohord than to go to Express and struggle.'' I chose to ignore that but now i know what she means. Its really not that i cant do it. I can..just that i dont want to..stupid la. Ms Sara told me this, '' I know you can do it. I believe in you and i hope you will not let me down.'' Wah...Damn demoralising la...
Tomorrow is my Tamil paper one and paper two.
I kinda gave up on Tamil for the time being.
Its useless la really..
Its kinda too late to do anything about it cause i know myself well enough and even if i start now, whats the difference? I may improve but will i actually pass my 'O' levels next year? NO! Its much too late to do anything now..
Especially with my mum!!!
She just dont understand la..
Hate her...
Not just her..my dad too
A life here has been ruined and its becoming more and more worse as the days pass by..No one understands this..seriously..
Nothing seems to be working out..
Sorry but i think im currently going through depression...
What i need now is a friend...
I wish i could say it all out but its still way too personal to be written even here..i want to say it all out to ***. But its useless..no one knows about this except for me. And it sucks cause i need to let it out to *** and not to anyone else cause i cant. Not only is it useless but i might just lose it all. And i dont want to. Im desperate not to.. Its pointless really..only a miracle can help me now.
But why does it have to be me?
Why did i have to?
How did i in the first place?
Whats wrong with me???
Argh!...
Frustrated already...
Just wish i could be heard and taken seriously..
I was already told yet its soo hard to forget someone especially if you like the person alot...
I may actually sound childish and stubborn but i cant help it..
Save me from this misery...
3:16 PM; unforgotten.Y
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Woke up at 9.30..
Wanted to wake up at 8.30 but haha its an improvement.
Read my book, met my friend, came back and felt lazy so i slept for 20 mins and woke up cause someone on msn nudged me. Haha.
Umm rearranged my english notes from my file and took out what i needed. Kinda slacked...
No studying today..(sigh)
Nevermind..tomorrow confirm i will.
Haha im sure i wont be telling myself nevermind la later can study..
You know why?
Cause on Thurday, its my English End Of TheYear exam!
Ahhh scared scared scared!
Ive got to forget him!
Theres like NO chance of us ever being together..
*sad*
Finally found someone thats my type and someone who is NOT sooo ****** but its not meant to work out..
Do you know how difficult it is to find someone like him nowadays?
Argghhh!
*living in two different worlds apart although it feels like its just one*
Ah well
Wanna go pack my bag..
Nights!
11:39 PM; unforgotten.Y
Monday, September 25, 2006
Yay!
Tomorrow got no school..
Haha..
Wanted to slack at home but ended up following a friend to do something.
Haha i dont mind...
Lala oh guess what?
I passed my Physics test!
Whoohoo!
But i know im gonna flunk my POA test i did today.
Aiyo last minute then tell us got test..
Obviously we arent prepared la..
Hmm today was a normal day..
The fun part was during social studies lesson..
Sat beside Ferroz, Hui Meng was on my right, Jin Rong beside Ferroz and Nisha somewhere nearby.
We were hornying around
Haha fun sial..
Then Ferroz and Jin Rong started to throw rubber at Nishaa..
Hey girl so sorry that i laughed..i couldnt control myself.
The next thing i knew, Ragu,Vicknesh, Isreal, Roy and Melvin were throwing small paper balls at me..
Haha we all laughed non-stop and luckily Mrs Gopala didnt scold me like she did the last time.
Hehe.
I always look forward to social studies..
After recess, I stayed in class and kinda rott while copying my social studies notes into my notebook. Ms Gayathiri did not come to school as usual. Ahh typical la. This is what i cant stand about some indians..whenever they can they will use the slightest reason to be their excuse..*roll-eyes*
Lala i didnt really do much today la..
Hmm right im gonna revise for my social studies now..
Then im gonna wake up early and revise somemore..
Then meet my friend and come back and study again..
Well aights,
Im out.
10:31 PM; unforgotten.Y
Sunday, September 24, 2006
It'sunday, 24th September, 10.23pm and 20 seconds...
I cant sleep..
Currently working on my Social Studies assignment..
I dont know what to write leh..
Hmm church today was umm ok la..
I actually dont go for mass...
I only go to church cause ive got cathegism class..
I want to go back to church..
Just feels weird.
I mean ive not gone foe mass for months.
But i will..soon..
Once i feel ready again..
God's doors are always widely open for anyone..
Thus i better not take advantage of it..
Today when i was in cathegism class..
Haha i expected to get bored by the teachings of my teachers..
(Seriously you wont know what they are talking about!..Its kinda like crap..nothing relating to God..Or maybe im not able to relate it to God..Hmmm i dont know la..Must further think about that then ill post about it later on)
Like i was saying...
But today was different...
We got split up into groups with people that we most likely wouldnt know.
But HAHA!
Nicholas, Russel, Matthew, Valencia and i were in the same group.
All of which i knew..
Haha...whats more Nicholas, Russel and i were from the same school..
Dummies..haha
Errm the objective of doing so was for us to further interact with one another.
We were given this survival list thingy and were supposed to discuss it as a group.
Haha kinda lame but it was ok la..
After that i followed Athena to the market as usual,
Accompanied her to buy things and sent her off to the bus stop like i always do.
Then i went home only to find out that my sister went missing.
She actually went to Johor Bahru with my dad..
Wah im just waiting for my exams to be over..
Then can spend time with my dad again..
Had maths tuition that started at 3.30pm and ended at 6pm!!
1/2 hour extra..haha..
I dont really mind la..
Its maths..I LOVE MATHS!
Hehehe..
Kinda wasted my time as usual after that..
Well guess what..
Tomorrow,
Im gonna be a whole new different person..
Cant wait..
You know what?
I think he knows..
Dont know why..but ya..i just think so..
Anyways..no use talking about that..
Gotta continue with my homework..
Till tomorrow,
Nights!
10:27 PM; unforgotten.Y
I had a dream..more like a nightmare..
In my dream, before i woke up, i was crying..
And when i woke up, i was really crying!
Tears were already there in my eyes..
Rolling down my cheeks..Ahh!
Idont know what to say..
I know that one day its going to happen
I just hope that its not anytime soon.
I know for sure that if it really happens..
I'll just lose myself..
Cause of everyone in my family you are the one who i love the MOST!
Before you left you were wearing what you said you wanted to wear..
And it really hurt(in my dream) when you told me to stay at home instead..
I still feel the pain inside..
And it was even worse when you said you wanted her to follow you..
It just shows that you still love her..
In fact i know you still do..
Its just a dream..i know..
But, its bound to happen one day right?
And the weird thing is..
I keep having dreams like this..
Alot of them..
I just wish it means nothing..
Please please please..
Go see a doctor..
I will follow you if you want me to..
Dont wait..
It really scares me alot
And i need you..
Although nothing really did happen,
I feel sad..
(Sigh)
Right i need to go to church now..
Gotta meet my friends and go for class..
10:50 AM; unforgotten.Y
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Today i woke up very late..
And i wanted to wake up early
So that i can study
But i woke up late
WHYYYY?
Its already 8pm and ive not started studying yet..
My exams are in 5 days time
And i know nothing!
OMG!!!
Howw...
I really really want to study and
Do well and
Prove everyone wrong but
How to when i dont have the mood?
I keep thinking about HIM non stop
I wanna be a part of HIM
HE means alot to me..
But sadly HE feels the other way round
HE sees me only as a friend and
It hurts...really it does..
I want to tell HIM how i feel n everything
But its pointless really..
HE likes her and her only
I can see that
But then i like HIM as much too.
Sometimes i wish i never knew HIM.
Ahhh!
I've gotta stop..
Gotta concentrate on my studies..
This is my last chance to determine
If i can get promoted to sec4 express or not..
I admit..
Its really my fault..
Since the beginning of this year,
I never studied
I was too distracted over EVERYTHING!
But i cant afford to do that anymore
The past is the past..
Ive gotta concentrate on the present and future..
Gotta put whats more important in front
And leave everything else behind
I know i can do it..
I know i can..
My mistakes led me to suspension..
I cant afford to be sacked..
Its just too much..
Its like taking my family away from me..
(SIGHHH!)
People always see the happy side of me..
But what they dont realise is that im just putting up a brave front
Simply..to make them happy
~BEHIND THE SMILE, LIES A BROKEN HEART~
Right ive gotta start studying..
Although its late..
Im gonna revise for my english, study history and do all my school and tuition homework.
Yeah!
Aights!
See ya around...
7:47 PM; unforgotten.Y
Friday, September 22, 2006
Yay! Ive finally gotten myself a blog to blog my thoughts out! Haha..
Anyways hello!!!
Hmm well i still need to do alot of things to my blog..
How to make it look nice?
Where do i go to??
Argh i need help with this..ive got no clue...
Well my POA tuition is gonna start soon..
Soooo
See ya!
7:21 PM; unforgotten.Y